Distracted? Let your values focus you.

The other day, I had a surprise free 2 hours and had a hard time organizing and mobilizing. Often times when this happens, I gravitate to the easy thing (for me, strap up my Brooks and go for a run). The weather was so gross and I had a lot I wanted to accomplish, so I chose to stay indoors to get some things done. However, I was paralyzed. My mind went in so many directions—all the things I want to do were competing with each other. I couldn’t figure out what path to take.

I started writing and my writing turned into a to do list. This is a common hole that I fall into…write a list of what’s in my head to give me a false feeling of accomplishment. Unfortunately, it was at the end of the time that it dawned on me the root of the problem…during these two hours, I wasn’t in touch with my why.

Now more than ever, there are so many things competing for your attention. Of course there are the obvious culprits. Social media, for instance, is designed like a slot machine, trying to lure you in with principles of behaviorism and reinforcement to keep you hooked (and making them money) for as long as possible. But it’s not just the forces that are designed to pull for your attention that are problematic. We live in an age where it is possible to achieve more than ever. I would argue the more you achieve, the more there is to achieve and the greater your ambition, the harder it is to weed out distractions.

There are plenty of tools you can use to ‘hack’ your productivity. You can spend good money on apps or books to help with this, and even apple has the built in screentime limiter. These things are all secondary solutions, and unless you solve the root of your distractibility issue, you will continue to be pulled in multiple directions…at least, that’s the case for me!

I would venture to argue that a core reason you are distracted is because you are not in touch with your values. as noted previously, values are personally held attributes that, like a compass, help point us to how to live. It can be obvious to use values when making major life decisions like should you buy an expensive car (perhaps yes if you value luxury, perhaps no if you value frugality) or should you take an exciting job across the country (perhaps yes if you value adventure and growth, perhaps no if you value stability). [Note: the way I’m writing it here presents values like they are a false dichotomy. They are not, and often times values compete and have to be prioritized. I can expand on this idea at another time.]

Beyond the usefulness of values for major decisions, they can be helpful anchors for us in the day to day, moment to moment.

So here are some reflection points to help you get in touch with your values and help guide your day to day decision making process when many things are pulling for your attention and stay focused. If you have a chunk of time that you’re not sure how to use and are feeling stuck, ruminating, perseverating, writing endless to do lists, organizing, cleaning to distract, doing the easy thing, cleaning your email, scrolling through social media, I encourage you to pause and give yourself 5 minutes to reflect on these points. It’s most effective to do so in writing.

What is most important in this exact moment?
Of the many things I am considering, what will make me feel most alive?
At the end of this chunk of time, what will I be glad that I honed in on?
What will enrich me in this moment?
what will I be proud I spent my time on?
At the end of the week, how will I have wanted to spend this time?
If I am the me I want to be (defined by a sense of purpose, not ego), what would I choose to do?

Give it a try and happy focusing!